Director's Crappy Movie Failed Because of Bush Administration

The man who directed the original "Basic Instinct" says that "Basic Instinct 2" flopped because of the Bush administration. Paul Verhoeven stated that because, "Anything that is erotic has been banned in the United States," people were forbidden to see "Basic Instinct 2" and that is the only reason it shared 10th place with "Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector" grossing only $3.2 million this opening weekend. "People had to risk being put in concentration camps or locked up in the Guantanamo Bay facility if they wanted to purchase tickets to this movie. If they didn't want to risk that, then they would go and see that Ice Age movie with Ray Romano. They were scared." The Dutch director who has chosen to make the U.S. his permanent home went on, "Look at the people at the top. We are living under a government that is constantly hammering out Christian values. You don't see George Bush sticking cigars up any young large womans lollerpop, do you? You don't see George Bush asking Paula Jones for blowjob, do you? You don't see George Bush asking Babs Streisand for that either, do you? Or any other finalists at the Phyllis Diller lookalike contest. Or... well, you get the point, yes? That is what is wrong with the President of America. He is loyal to his wife. What a shame," a distraught Verhoeven told the Hollywood Reporter. "And Christianity and sex have never been good friends." The director may have a point, given that most Christian births simply and inexplicably happen through osmosis, whereas secular progressives tend to get pregnant via sperm and egg - or "the old fashioned way". The director of such classics as, "Voorbij, Voorbij", "Showgirls" and "Celebrity Naked Ambition" has made his opinions clear about Christians, stating, "... the whole Christian religion is a major symptom of schizophrenia in half the world's population: civilizations scrambling to rationalize their chaotic existence. Subsequently, Christianity has a tendency to look like magic or the occult."

No one has yet heard from Michael Caton-Jones, the director of "Basic Instinct 2."