Keith Richards Falls Out of Tree - Seriously Injures Self

Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards suffered a concussion in Fiji when he reportedly fell out of a palm tree there. "Yeah, I was ubinthe pahmtreean ubdullmina hahahah fillamin a hitmahed nez thinginew uh oh hahahah wuzin hozpidial NewZealand," said Mr. Richards from his hospital bed in New Zealand.

No one is quite sure what he was doing in a palm tree, but rumor has it that it was a suggestion from another rock star/genius and friend Bruce "I'm-not-Jewish-nor-did-I-change-my-name-to-a-non-Jewish-spelling" Springsteen. Springsteen apparantly suggested, "Why don't you geddup in that tree and look around for a while or just hang out. It'll be cool. You could write a song about it - get some coconuts, break 'em open, eat 'em, yadda yadda yadda. Okay. Cool."