George Clooney: "I'm Going to Date Lots of Men - Including Rep. Mark Foley - to Get Back at the Paparazzi."

NEW YORK — Paparazzi, beware. George Clooney has a plan to put celeb-snapping photographers out of business.
"I want to spend every single night for three months going out with Representative Mark Foley and then walk on the beach holding hands with Leonardo DiCaprio. Before you say, 'but Foley is a Republican' Let me make this point, he's good looking and maybe I could get him to switch parties. Oh and - of course - it's not that I'm gay or anything. Absolutely not, no way, are you kidding? [nervous laughter] It's to... so that... um...people would still buy the magazines, they'd still buy the pictures, but they would always go, 'I don't know if these guys were putting us on or not.' You know, um... because people really think that much about me and my life and they think really hard about those pictures they see in the tabloids rather than just picking them up on their way out of the grocery store as a kind of way to make fun and laugh at us. No, they don't do that. They really, truly care. So I've really thought about this. Hard."

He had other nice things to say about his fellow thespians. Johnny Depp, said Clooney, "Is so smokin' I wish he played for 'our' team. I mean our softball team. Literally. We get together every Saturday. I swear that's the team I was referring to." And he thinks Clive Owen is "the big one - the whopper, if you catch my drift. And by the way he can catch my drift any time he wants," Clooney says. "He's, like, a man — there's a sexuality and a masculinity that I think is really interesting. MMMMM good. I mean - if I dated these guys - as a joke - wouldn't that be funny? Wouldn't that show the Paparazzi a thing or two?"