Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Cameron Diaz Was Right: Rape Is Now Legal

Well, Cameron Diaz warned us all. But the masses chose not to listen and voted for George W. Bush as their leader. Less than two years later, he signed a bill making rape legal. "I just want to say that men everywhere will remember this day as a happy one. There's a great feeling to know that any man can rape any other man, woman or child at any time without the fear of negative consequence. Hopefully this will increase the need for unwanted pregnancies and abortions; a boon to the economy in the medical world and an aid to forwarding embroyonic stem cell research. As we all know, you can't have embroyonic stem cells without embroyos; and I've never been secretive about my unwavering support of just this type of stem cell research. This will also show the world that we are sympathetic to those suffering from AIDS and other incurable and potentially fatal sexually transmitted diseases. With the increase of rape and the legalization of it, we will be forced to deal with this growing world wide epidemic head on, in our own neighborhood." He finished with commentary on how the government shouldn't judge what a man or woman does with his or her own body. If that man or woman wants to use their body as a weapon, it is not the place of the government to intervene.

CBS News reporter Katie Couric asked Cameron Diaz how she felt about being right, "Welp," started Diaz, "everyone said that what I said was stupid and like what did I mean by saying rape would be legal if people didn't vote. Welp this is what I meant. This very thing, totally. And like it really sucks to say 'I told you so' because this is so bad and all, but I totally told you so."


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