Tuesday, September 26, 2006

New Movie Exposes Dubya & Nixon Killed John Lennon

Dubya killed John Lennon - no doubt. And now there's a movie that links the murder of John Lennon to George W. Bush and his really good friend and co-hort, Richard Milhouse Nixon. But we don't need a movie to inform us of that. We all know that both men love death. They love it more than they love roasted puppies on the spit, the dead of Winter and the smell of Napalm in the morning. They love it more than the Cloonster loves his ruby-bejeweled merkin that Marc Jacobs designed especially for him. How do we know? Because Nixon started the Viet Nam war - then escalated it - imposed a draft where there previously was none and gleefully sent young men and women to die while he rubbed his hands together. Oh yes, ladies and gentlemen - don't let your government sponsored propagandist history books fool you: a Republican started Viet Nam - not Kennedy and a Republican escalated it - not Johnson. It was up to Jimmah Carter to end the war and save the "Me" generation from being entirely wiped out. But besides their penchant for death there are other links between Dubya and Tricky-Dick and the death of John Lennon:
A) Bush and Nixon were very tight - like uncle and nephew - when Bush Sr. was head of the CIA. AND they were working together on a plan to deport all British born drug-addict/rock stars - you know - because rock stars are so important and influential and really smart and educated people follow whatever rock stars or actors, (like Rosie O'Donnell) think.
B) Mark David Chapman was from Fort Worth Texas which - granted is about 300 miles from Midland but given the vastness of Texas that's relatively really close
C) Dubya had a little known illegitimate uncle who was the product of a liaison his grandfather, Senator Prescott Bush had with a woman who lived in Fort Worth. Her name? Diane Chapman.
D) The Down Syndrome memo, written in the Spring of 1981 states clearly that Mark David Chapman received no less than 6,000 shares in Bush Oil Co and 450 shares of the Texas Rangers baseball team. It reads, "Hey Georgie boy. When are you and that lady of yours going to have little Bushies? Don't you think it's about time you did? Have we communicated since that Chapman guy killed John Lennon?" PROVING that George W. Bush knew about the murder and who the murderer was. Thus concluding that they planned the whole thing, hired Mark David Chapman and rewarded him for it.
E) It is a well known fact that Dubya preferred the Rolling Stones - who did "Sympathy for the Devil" and was responsible for the killing of some hippy guy at Altamont - to the fresh-faced innocent-seeming Beatles, AND when Sgt. Papsmear and his Lonely Fartsounds Band came out, Bush preferred "Pet Sounds" by the Beach Boys and commented, "This is way better than that pretentious overrated shit the Beatles are farting out of their armpits these days. Shit. The Kinks already did a concept album called 'Arthur' and it actually had some relevance to what's going on in England. This is just egomaniacal third grade cacophony." (his vocabulary was much better before the cocaine.)
F) According to very reliable sources of Bush biographer Kitty Kelly, when "Double Fantasy" came out - right before Lennon's murder - Dubya said, "I knew that Lennon was washed up - this proves it. This crap makes A Taste of Honey's 'Boogie Oogie Oogie' sound like Handel's Messiah. People have been killed for less than putting this shit out on the airwaves," which is a bona-fide threat to most liberals.
And saying anything bad about John Lennon's music - even the unlistenable "Every Man Has a Woman Who Loves Him" - is tantamount to blasphemy. Lennon is our Jesus. Even though Lennon begged, pleaded, pulled every string imaginable and used his celebrity and millions of dollars to stay in the US, Nixon paid him back by bugging his chic Manhattan Upper West side Dakota co-op, spying on him, making him and his wife pay taxes and pestering him for autographs. Shame on you Dubya for crucifying our Jesus.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Rosie O’Donnell Proven Right About Christian Remarks

Newest addition to ABC’s “The View”, robust Rosie O’Donnell, was proven right this week when she compared Islamofascists to radical Christians. On September 12th’s “The View”, Ms. O’Donnell remarked, "Radical Christianity is just as threatening as radical Islam in a country like America." After Ms. O’Donnell’s remarks, The Pope demanded an apology and Christians went on a violent rampage burning O’Donnell in effigy, burning ABC affiliate studios, executing an ABC reporter, and threatening “that fat, rug-munching slob” and her, “shit-stabbing friends” unless she retracted the comment. “Behead those who insult Christianity!” read one sign held by a woman peering out from her veil outside of the ABC studio in New York while another read, “Rosie is el Diablo.”

Rosie’s comments were referring to the way the US Christian government has forced people to wear veils, attend church and prosecute those who are non-Christians, often giving them the death sentence. No word yet on whether President Bush will bring charges against Rosie O’Donnell for her comments and what he says are, "disrespectful, anti-Christian and against America."

Friday, September 08, 2006

After Threats from Clintons, Schumer, Reid - ABC Censors Miniseries

In yet another "take that!" style victory by the Clintons, (see Vince Foster,) ABC has capitulated to threats made by Democratic leaders to either cancel their ABC Docudrama, "The Path to 9/11" or have their broadcasting license revoked. Dems urged ABC to re-write the docudrama to portray George W. Bush as the only person responsible for all of the 5 Al Qaeda attacks under the Clinton administration or they would not only cry to their mommies, but they would take legislative action against the network - that is if they could manage to agree on some kind of legislation and get something - anything - passed. “Hey, make no mistake about how we feel about free speech.” said Senator Reid. “We are all for it. But when you say negative things about former President Clinton, well that’s tantamount to hate speech, which is a hate crime, which is against the law, which is why we would seek to revoke Disney’s license.” Nancy Pelosi had this to say, “What about all of the money Haliburton has made off of the war in Iraq and Scooter Libby, Karl Rove no WMD’s? What about that? No WMD’s, Haliburton, hurricane Katrina? Am I right?” When asked, “What facts do you think were misrepresented in the ABC docudrama?” Ms. Pelosi replied, “Why are we spending billions of dollars on a war on terror? We’re going to hold this administration accountable for its failed policies. We need a new direction in Iraq. Haliburton, how ‘bout those WMDs and Haliburton. Oh and hurricane Katrina, too. THAT’s our policy and it’s very clear.” Barbra Streisand simply said, “I know I kicked up a fuss about the network caving in to the right wing opposing my husband’s made for TV movie on Reagan, but I completely support this particular censorship. It’s like Fox News did it or something and we all know that Fox News presents a different viewpoint and should be banned. It should be declared a hate crime and Disney’s license should be revoked.”
Harry Reid summed it up best this way, "This is the real issue facing Democrats this mid-term election. Whether or not this docudrama will contain all unembellished facts approved by the Democratic party or not."

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Bush Kills Beloved Animal Planet Star, Steve Irwin

Let me ask you this… how rare is a sting ray attack? Okay, how rare is a sting ray death? There have been only two reported cases of fatal sting ray attacks in Australia since 1945 and world-wide they are extremely rare. Okay now one more, how rare is a sting ray death on someone who is an EXPERT in handling dangerous animals safely? Steve Irwin (aka “The Crocodile Hunter”) was the latest victim of “President” Bush’s failure to sign Kyoto. Why? Because as a conservationist he cared about animals and the earth. Bush only cares about oil. In fact a friend of mine who once worked on a television show with him told me that when the cameras stopped running he was talking to everyone about how delicious puppy dogs taste. He, Laura and the twins especially like the taste of roasted Scottish Terriers – like Miss. Beazley and Barney. Do you think that the dog they parade around the White House Lawn is the same Miss. Beazley that they’ve had since the beginning? Look at recent pictures of Miss Beazley compared to when they first got her; this is a completely different dog! See how much larger the “new” Miss Beazley is compared to the original Miss Beazley? If you look at this picture, you can see that Miss Beazley is almost the same size as Barney! Shrubya didn’t even try to make her look small like in the first picture.

But I digress. It is common knowledge that there is global warming and it is causing all kinds of disruptions in the ocean’s ecosystem. We have noted climatologist and celebrity hero, Barbra Streisand saying so from the comforts of her eco-friendly mansion. We also know that stingrays do not attack people. We know that in the last 6.8 years starting from January 2001 until the present that the earth has warmed 20 degrees. Just as Robert F. Kennedy Jr. said, the oceans are moments from boiling unless Bush signs Kyoto now. And until he and his oil-loving cronies do something for the environment, we will see more and more tragic deaths of the animal-loving stars of Animal Planet, (take heed Jeff Corwin!)
All I have to say is, he had a wife and 2 children! Have you no shame, Mr. Bush?